How to Coach a Client Based on Their Primal Question

Today, I want to address a question that came up from one of our community members.

She asked, "What do you do when a client seems to have multiple Primal Questions or is all over the place in terms of identifying their question?"

As coaches, our role is to help our clients gain clarity and understanding about their inner world. The Primal Question framework is a powerful tool for doing just that, but sometimes, it can feel like our clients are jumping from one question to another, making it challenging to identify their core driver.

Here are a few things to keep in mind when coaching a client with multiple Primal Questions:

1.Trauma can lead to multiple questions

Remember, the Primal Question is imprinted on us when it is answered with a no or maybe. 

If your client has experienced significant trauma, even later in life, it's common for them to manifest more than one Primal Question. They may have been imprinted with one question in early childhood and another through trauma in adulthood. As a coach, approach these clients with extra compassion and patience.

2.Complexity can be a safety mechanism

Sometimes, clients may jump from one question to another as a way to avoid vulnerability.

If they can keep the conversation at a superficial level, touching on multiple questions without going deep, they may feel safer. As a coach, your job is to help them slow down, bring clarity, and move from complexity to simplicity and truth. 

3. The Primal Question is like the engine of a car

Think of the Primal Question as the engine of a car.

It's the central driver, the force that propels the car forward. Other aspects, like the sound system or seat warmers, can impact the experience, but they're not the core driver. Help your clients focus on the "engine" of their life, even if it feels more vulnerable than discussing the "seat warmers."

4.Be open to changing the Primal Question

As you work with a client and unpack their story, you may discover that their initial Primal Question isn't quite right.

That's okay! Give yourself and your client permission to explore other questions and change course if needed. The goal is to find the question that resonates most deeply and helps the client understand themselves better.

5.Get to the "why"

When a client is struggling to land on a specific question, keep digging for the "why."

Why do they have the triggers they have? Why do they turn to certain coping mechanisms? The thing underneath the thing is what you're after. When you hit the true "why," the Primal Question will become clear.

Remember, identifying a client's Primal Question is a process, not an exact science.

Trust your intuition, ask good questions, and look for that resonance that tells you you've landed on the true core need. If something feels off, keep exploring, but always steer the conversation toward the roots, not the branches.

You've got this!

Keep showing up with compassion, curiosity, and a commitment to helping your clients understand themselves at the deepest level.

Warmly,

Mike Foster

P.S. Do you want to unlock your full potential as a coach and help your clients do the same? 

The Primal Question Coaching Certification can provide you with the tools, training, and support you need to make a profound impact. If you're feeling called to explore this opportunity, visit primalquestion.com to learn more and join the waitlist to hear about our next cohort!