How You Start a Coaching Session Matters

You never know how a client is going to come into the session. 

Maybe they've had a busy week and they haven’t thought about what they want to talk about. Or maybe they've been thinking about the last session nonstop and they know exactly where they want to pick up.

As a coach, you're here to serve the client. 

That means it's important to let them direct the conversation.

You're here to help them with whatever is most valuable to them, but you also need to have a loose plan because some clients have no idea what they want to talk about.

Here are the two pitfalls new coaches fall into:

1. Being underprepared, waiting for the client to set the agenda.

2. Being overprepared and imposing their own plan when the client might want to discuss something else.

Both approaches can leave the client feeling unheard or overwhelmed.

After conducting thousands of coaching sessions over the years, I now keep a simple tool in my back pocket to navigate this issue.

Introducing the Check-In Tool

This is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a simple way to check in with the client on multiple areas of life. It allows the client to assess how they’re doing and gives you options for where to take the session in a way that best serves them.

Here's how it works:

1.Start with a brief warm-up

Begin with some light banter - ask about their weekend or a recent event. But remember, keep it short! This should last 2 minutes at a maximum. You're not there to shoot the breeze for 10 minutes.

2.Transition to the session 

Use this simple question to shift gears: "How are you coming in today?" It's open-ended and allows the client to self-direct the session if they already have a specific topic in mind. 

3.The Check-In Tool (5-7 minutes)

If the client needs more structure, guide them through these four areas:

Mind: Explore the client's thoughts and mental state.

Ask about their thoughts, thinking patterns, or ruminating ideas. You might ask, "What thoughts have been prominent this week? Is there anything that's been stuck in your mind?"

Heart: Next, we dive into the emotional realm. 

Explore their feelings and emotional experiences. You could ask, "How is your heart this week?” or, “What are the predominant emotions you’ve been feeling since we last met?"

Body: Next, focus on their physical state. This could reveal important information about stress levels or other health concerns. 

You might ask, "How are you feeling in your body? How’s your energy this week? Any pain, fatigue, or sleep issues?"

Soul: If appropriate for your client (based on their beliefs and comfort level), ask about their spiritual well-being. 

You could ask, "How's the condition of your soul?" or "How are you feeling spiritually?"

Why this tool is so powerful:

1. It gives you a comprehensive snapshot of your client's life.

2. It provides multiple on-ramps for deeper conversation.

3. It helps some clients discover how they're doing in real time.

4. It sets a structured yet flexible tone for the session.

Remember, the Check-In Tool is meant to be a conversation starter, not the entire session. It should take about 5-7 minutes, giving you plenty of time to dive deeper into the areas that emerge as most significant.

Here's your action item for this week: 

Try using the Check-In Tool in your next coaching session. Or if you don’t have clients yet, try doing this check-in with a spouse or friend.

Pay attention to how it helps set the tone and direction for your conversation. Notice which areas (Mind, Heart, Body, or Soul) tend to yield the most fruitful discussions.

Thank you for reading, 

Mike Foster

Want to learn more powerful coaching tools like the Check-In Tool? 

Consider joining our next cohort of the Primal Question Coach Certification program. We'll equip you with everything you need to become an effective, in-demand coach. From session structure to business building, we cover it all. Join the waitlist to hear more about our next cohort!