How to Help Your Clients Make Tough Life Decisions.
Before we jump in, I want to address a good question many of you have asked…
How long does a Primal Question Coaching engagement last?
One person reached out and said, “I love how simple the framework is, but I'm worried that if I coach people with the Primal Questions, I’ll only be able to work with them for a few sessions, and I’ll always have to find new clients.”
Let me clarify.
I’ve been coaching some of my clients for 5+ years.
Teaching the framework is quick, but applying it takes time. The Primal Question impacts every area of our lives. You can spend years helping a client unfold its implications.
But the Primal Question is not the only tool I use in my practice.
It’s not the only tool I teach in the Primal Question Coach Certification either. Inside the program, I teach you every tool I use, so you’re prepared for anything your clients go through. That means you can coach someone for years.
Today, I want to teach you one of my favorite, non-Primal Question tools to add to your toolbelt.
How to Help Your Clients Make Tough Life Decisions.
I simply call this The Decision Making Tool.
Clients will come to you with all sorts of different decisions they need to make. What job to take, who to marry, which business to start, where to move, and so on. You can whip out this helpful tool to bring them clarity.
By the way, I’m a big fan of using physical tools in sessions to get clients fully engaged.
That’s why I recommend having them draw this out on a piece of paper.
They’re going to draw four boxes:
1. Must
2. Should
3. Could
4. Must not
At the top, have them write the decision they’re trying to make.
Let's say they’re in a career transition. They would write, “What job should I take?”
Next, facilitate the process of filling out all four boxes.
1. Must:
Ask, “What are the absolute necessities that your next job must have?” Hold them accountable to be specific. Don’t accept, “It needs a good salary”. That’s about as clear as mud. This tool is supposed to provide clarity, so ask what the specific number is. Keep going until you have all the requirements.
2. Should
Ask, “What should this job have?” These are things that aren’t an absolute requirement but are still important. Maybe they want the ability to work from home a few days a week or less than a 30-minute commute, but it’s not a deal-breaker. Write all the “shoulds” here.
3. Could
Ask, “What could this job have?” Most of these will be throwaways, things that could be true but don’t matter. The main purpose of this category is to bring clarity to what is in the must and should boxes and what isn’t.
4. Must Not
Ask, “What’s a deal-breaker for this job?” For example, this could be a toxic work culture, a 2-hour commute, or non-stop work trips.
Once you fill everything out, you’ll have a clear set of criteria to help the client evaluate opportunities.
This might sound simple, but it’s surprisingly valuable.
People go through life confused. They have all sorts of possibilities floating around in their head, and it’s hard to keep track. They're looking for someone like you to come along and organize it for them.
The best part?
All you have to do is facilitate. That’s the beauty of coaching.
You don’t have to be "special" to be an effective coach.
You know what separates effective coaches from ineffective coaches?
It’s not personality, it’s not degrees, it’s not even years of experience.
Effective coaches use effective tools.
That’s it.
All you need to do is learn the tools.
If you want me to teach everything I know about effective coaching, apply to learn more about my coaching certification program.
Thanks for reading,
Mike Foster
